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AITJ for telling my best friend I’m not her backup plan anymore
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This is what happens when one person ends up being the designated emergency contact while the other treats the friendship like a revolving door. When things are good, they vanish. When things go bad, they show up with a suitcase full of problems and expect you to drop everything.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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This is the kind of situation that makes you question every time you put someone else first. The subtle signs start small, missed calls, last-minute cancellations, disappearing acts when romance is in the air. But the pattern becomes impossible to ignore. Every time they’re single or heartbroken, you’re suddenly the best friend again. You cancel your plans, listen to their tears, remind them they’re worth more than some guy, and then, like clockwork, they vanish once the drama ends.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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The final straw isn’t about one moment. It’s about a lifetime of being treated as an afterthought. When your friend shows up in crisis mode, you help. When they get back together, you’re forgotten. The emotional labor adds up, and eventually, you realize you’re not their best friend, you’re their backup plan.
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Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is draw a line. It’s not about being selfish or dramatic. It’s about recognizing your own worth and refusing to be treated as disposable. Not every friendship is meant to last forever, and not every bond is worth the emotional toll. Sometimes, the smartest move is to stop being someone else’s emergency contact and start being your own priority.
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